Infant Feeding Day 2023: Compassionate Feedership
Everyone has the potential to be a leader, and mums are right up there as having the skills to be some of the best leaders in the world. This infant feeding day, we want you to share with us your compassionate FEEDership stories, tips and skills!
So what is compassionate FEEDership?
The idea comes from compassionate leadership. Compassion is a feeling of empathy, a recognition that someone else is struggling and a desire to help that person. A compassionate leader will attend to others, try and understand their point of view, empathise with their position, with the aim to help.
When I was pregnant with my last baby, my mum friends gave me a jar of notes to read on day three....you know the day, you are just out of hospital, the birthing high is falling, the milk comes in and everything is pretty shit. They knew my previous struggles, because they had listened, understood, empathised and acted to help.
Ultimately people in the workplace who are treated with compassion perform better; they have better relationships, better engagement, better outcomes and this reflects into more cost effective workers!
What is compassionate leadership? | The King's Fund (kingsfund.org.uk)
Sounds vague, is there any evidence?
Yes, there is a lot of evidence that compassion has positive impacts! The most comprehensive review of the evidence for this approach demonstrated that compassion in healthcare has positive impacts on many and variable health outcomes; length of stay in hospital, symptom severity and reduced healthcare costs to name a few. On the cost of compassion it was shown that it takes on average 40 seconds longer to show compassion in a conversation. Just 40 SECONDS!
Compassionomics | Evidence That Caring Makes a Difference
One of my favourite TedTalks How 40 Seconds of Compassion Could Save a Life | Stephen Trzeciak | TEDxPenn - YouTube
How does this translate to compassionate FEEDership?
On this Infant Feeding Day, Team Feed are taking the concept of compassionate leadership, and creating Compassionate Feedership! If we implement the four behaviours of compassionate leadership - to listen, understand, empathise and support - in our interactions with ourselves and each other around infant feeding, we can better meet the needs of Mums and babies, and the people who look after them.
So what is compassionate FEEDership?
Compassionate FEEDership is a process of being kind to yourself and if you have the capacity, to be compassionate to others.
Being a mum is not always easy and compassion needs to start at home with being kind to yourself.
Going through motherhood, we develop close bonds with other mums. We are highly supportive of each other and often tell our friends to “give yourself a break” or we congratulate them of their achievements “wow you are smashing this”. What we are not great at is stepping out of our bodies and looking back at ourselves, being objective and supportive to our own wellbeing. This is going to change!
What does it look like?
It is going to look different to each one of us, depending on what we need.
Step one: Check in with yourself. ATTEND to your needs, listen to your body and your mind, what are they telling you? Be self reflective. Identify things that you might be struggling with.
Step two: UNDERSTAND. Try and think what these concerns might reflect. Prioritise these concerns. What is causing you the most issues? Is it lack of sleep, is it that you haven’t had a shower, is it that your baby won’t stop crying?
Step three: EMPATHISE with yourself. Give yourself a bloody break! Try and think, if my friend told me they were worried about this, what would I say? What would I advise them to do?
Step four: HELP. Implement the advice you have just given yourself. If you have a great need for sleep, talk to someone else, a partner, a family member, who might be able to look after the baby whilst you get a good sleep.
These same four steps also apply when we are talking to our friends, family or patients about infant feeding. Listen with fascination, value and explore conflicting views rather than imposing your own ideas, empathe and take action to support women, whether that involves removing barriers that are getting in their way, or ensuring they have the resources they need.
A lot of mothering is trial and error; we go on this journey supporting our friends in the ups and the downs. Compassionate FEEDership is giving yourselves a chance to practice what you preach.
We would love to hear your examples of the ways in which you have demonstrated compassionate FEEDership so we can share and rejoice in each others achievements! You can find us on social media; please share your stories using the hashtag #CompassionateFeedership
